it's kind of right

Find your own pose!

FOOD FOR THOUGHT; NOTHING TO EAT

The Hanged Man: Pausing to reflect. Surrendering to an experience. Adjusting to new ideas through sacrifice. Opening oneself to intuition and enhanced awareness. Letting go of past patterns and growing beyond them. Inner peace, faith, and serenity.






we'll see.

A WARNING TO STUDENTS OF ALL AGES

By Raoul Vaneigem

http://www.notbored.org/avertissement.html

[Note: this pamphlet was originally published in French in 1995. It was translated by JML with NOT BORED! in August 2000.]

Chapter 1: A warning to students of all ages.

The school, the family, the factory, the barracks, and, by proxy, the hospital and the prison, have been the inevitable passages by which commodity society has bent to its profit the destiny of the so-called "human" being.

The government that this society exercises over human nature, which is still in love with the freedom of childhood, puts in their proper places the growth and happiness that precede -- and delay to diverse degrees -- the familial enclosure, the workshop or office, the military institution, the clinic, the houses of the condemned.

Has schooling lost the repulsive character that it had in the 19th and 20th centuries, when it broke spirits and bodies upon the hard realities of efficiency and servitude, making it glorious to educate by forced labor, authority and austerity, and never by pleasure or passion? Nothing is surer, and it can't be denied that, in all the apparent eagerness of modernity, a whole lot of archaic ideas continue to scandalize the lives of schoolchildren.

Hasn't the scholastic enterprise obeyed, up to this very day, one dominant preoccupation: improve the techniques of training so that the animal would become a profitable investment?

No child crosses the threshold of a school door without being exposed to the risk of losing him or herself. Losing, that is, exuberant life, filled with new knowledge and marvels, that would be excited to receive nourishment, if it were not sterilized and made hopeless under the boring work of abstract knowledge. What a terrible affirmation, to see those shining looks so suddenly tarnished!

Here are four walls. The general consensus suits the hypocrites; within these walls, one is imprisoned, constrained, blamed, judged, honored, chastised, humiliated, labeled, manipulated, fondled, violated, treated abortively and left begging for aid and assistance.

"What are you complaining about?" object the makers of laws and decrees. "Isn't this the best way to initiate the youth into the immutable laws that rule the world and existence?" Doubtless. But why should the young accommodate themselves any longer to a society without joy and without a future, a society whose adults have nothing but their defeated resignation, which they support with a mix of bitterness and discomfort?

A SCHOOL IN WHICH LIFE BECOMES BORING TEACHES NOTHING BUT BARBARISM

[ WAIT!! THERE'S MORE!! IT'S TOO LONG TO POST HERE IN ITS ENTIRETY, BUT YOU CAN, AND SHOULD, READ THE REST - CLICK HERE ]

MABON

[today]



on the off chance that anyone reading this actually gives a shit,here are a few ways to commemorate/celebrate mabon/the autumnal equinox... notice that none of them have anything to do with altars or covens or pentagrams or bonfires or magickal spells, because there's so much more to it than that shit... sucks when that shit is all people seem to see,though, because they never seem to realize that you can take away all that "witch-y" stuff and still be left with a perfectly lovely and festive holiday....c'est la vie. it's their loss.

now....just in case:

- be thankful and appreciative for everything you have
- hang around outside, maybe throw some bread or seeds to the birds and/or woodland creatures and/or homeless people and/or rodents
- take some time to remember and pay tribiute [even if its just a silent,internal tribute] to anyone you care about who's dead
- bake something autumn-y and delicious, i.e. apple cake or sweet potato casserole, and share it with anyone you care about who isn't dead
- contemplate the cyclical nature of the universe and think of some things you could do to improve or maintain balance in yr life


...that's all i got for now

well,no it's not..but i'm sick of typing,and sick of being inside

happy fall.... blessed be

YR ONLY YOUNG ONCE .... THANK GOD.

i would really prefer to just stay in my room and make art and read and organize my stickers
[tonight, but most other nights, also]

[days too]



[i do have a lot of stickers]

[well, they're essentially the photoshop brushes of reality, aren't they]

PHILISTINES

this wretched play-pen of a city is crawling with them

END OF SUMMER [OFFICIAL] [GOOD RIDDANCE*]

* - ...to the domestic half, anyway.

---

i have eliminated 'genres' from my itunes librarary ... and, by extension, my ipod ... and, by extension, my life


it's a small step.. but it's a step

[ha]

later today i am going to re-evaluate the list i started in february of what i want to be when i grow up; shifting my focus from 'quantity' to 'quality'


i'm calling it ""sincere, optimistic, and well-intentioned attempt to convince myself to take anything seriously #5783993"

soon to probably be the next addition to my renowned and expansive collection, "achievements in futility"

[ongoing]



[collect the whole set!]



....but first..... alpaca yarn, the last solar eclipse until 2008, the new moon, mabon, pomegranite wine, mysteries, manicures, strangers with candy,and a shower

CORRECTION

more

different

[ this space intentionally left blank ]

saw the who tonight; found tickets on ebay for half of face value, and ended up with much better seats than expected ... can't believe i wasn't even planning on going until earlier this week, because it was fucking incredible. wondered what it's like to be in your sixties and still playing songs you wrote in your twenties , [eventually decided it must be amazing, if a bit surreal] ... wondered lots of things, really, but i don't feel like writing any more right now.

10 HOURS LATER ...

... are you surprised i didn't have more to say?

[as peaceful as i'm sure it's been, it's actually not a very good sign.]

you said we could talk about it tomorrow ... but did it ever occur to you that i might not want to talk about it tomorrow? ... or the next day? or three weeks from now ... or ten years from now... or ever? i've said everything i have to say about it, and then some... and then some more ... and it's gotten us absolutely nowhere. i'm as tired of saying it as you are of hearing it, and we both know that neither one of us is going to budge an inch... seems to me that this, my dear, is what the teamsters would refer to as "an impasse".

[.... mediaton??? .... arbitration?? ........ binding arbitration????]


the most frustrating thing about days like today is how ultimately, they have very little to do with 'today' -- the things that are happening now aren't problematic in and of themselves, but i can't see them without seeing everything that came before them, too, and that's where things start to get messy .... years and years of yesterdays, and still no tomorrow in sight ...



it drains me.

i don't even have the energy to get mad anymore.. or sad, or jealous, or offended; actually, to be perfectly honest, i'm too tired [not physically ... but mentally, and emotionally] to feel much of anything these days, it seems... and anything i do feel, bad or good, never seems to stick around for more than about five minutes.. which, now that i'm thinking about it, is actually incredibly fucked up.


.... oh well.


i think we both knew that casualties were inevitable.

---

Q. what do you call someone who tells you that you may either (a) have some cake, or (b) eat some cake, but that you may not, under any circumstances, either eat any cake you chose to have, OR to have any cake you chose to eat ... then proceeds to hand you two huge slabs of cake, a fork, a roll of paper towels, some ice cream, a doggy bag, $20, a cell phone, and a mini-fridge; says, "now... between you and me, there are at least sixteen more cakes in that closet over there, but do try to remember our deal.. oh, silly me, what am i saying?! of course you'll remember!! i know i can trust you!! now, i'm off to the mall, so be good.. have fun... call me later and let me know how it's going!! well, only if you want to, of course!! tee-hee!!"; and takes off?

A. marissa

"... INTERESTING."

SO i finished my rant and went to get a tarot reading --i found this new website that does it for free,so tarot.com can suck a dick.. this site is a little bit more blunt,however, but i think i probably need that. anyway, check out what it says... who cares if it's a 'coincidence' or not?

The Shadow Truth spread provides insight into your attitudes and hidden feelings. This spread is used when you are having trouble confronting something, or fear that you are concealing something from yourself. The Benedetti Tarot is a highly stylized deck painted on gold leaf. 7 years in the making, the images were inspired by the Visconti Tarot, the earliest Tarot deck still in existence. The Benedetti Tarot is the favorite deck of those who seek simplicity and elegance in their lives.

The card in the center represents the attitude you assume. Eight of Wands (Swiftness): A sudden release of raw power, cutting through confusion and indecision, and setting things in motion. Rapid progress towards a desired goal, brought about by immediate and decisive action. Boldness and daring in love, business, travel, or spiritual growth.

The card to the right represents the thoughts and feelings that underly your attitudes. Six of Cups (Pleasure): Opening your heart to the simple pleasures of life. Fond memories fuel the playful embrace of love and life. Experiencing the joy of youth and sexual innocence. Engaging in acts of gentle kindness. Harmony of natural forces without effort or strain. Meeting an old friend.

The card at the top represents how your attitude is evolving and will evolve in the future. The Tower: Unforeseen catastrophe. An abrupt change, perhaps leading to a new lifestyle and enlightenment. May indicate a broken relationship, divorce, or failure in business or career.

The card to the left represents how others perceive your attitude. Queen of Swords: The essence of air behaving as water, such as a refreshing mist: A person gifted with both keen logic and natural intuition, giving them uncanny powers of perception and insight. One who easily sees past deception and confusion to the heart of a matter, and understands both sides of any argument. The embodiment of calm, forthrightness, and wit, in the face of even the most trying circumstances.

The card at the bottom represents what you cannot confront or are hiding from yourself. The Hanged Man, when reversed: Life in suspension. Selfish, materialistic, and untrusting attitudes. Unwillingness to make necessary sacrifices. Going along with the crowd, and refusing to hear the inner voice. Concessions and appeasements that backfire.

for the past month or so, i've quite literally been spending at least two hours every single day sitting here looking through all the job listings i can find ,both because i need a job now and because i like to see what's out there so i can maybe at least begin trying to formulate some sort ....i don't know, goals, or something, i guess..? .... find some direction? i'm really just hoping that one day i'll stumble across some perfect opportunity and BAM! everything will instantly just fall into place, but i know better than to epect that..except,no i don't; i really see absolutely no reason why that isn't just as feasible as me settling for some piece of shit job that i hate and keeping it for the next thirty years because it's safe or comfortable or easier thantrying to start over or whatever .... because to be honest, that's pretty much where i see my life going unless i start turning shit around right quick...so i sit here..and i read all these job descriptions... and i see all the REQUIREMENTS and the PREREQUISITES and i see how all these employers are utilizing the same skeezy, bullshit marketing tactics that they use to attract customers to find employees and ... i ...ugh,

IT IS FUCKING INFURIATING

I THOUGHT I WAS JUST GOING TO BE OUTRAGED FOR ONE DAY THIS WEEK, BUT I THINK I MIGHT BE PERMANENTLY OUTRAGED,FROM NOW ON

because ALL THAT HAS HAPPENED since this whole thing started is that i have encountered more actual, live, admissible, indisputable validation of everything i always thought i knew and fucking despised about the way our society [barely] functions

and ALL I HAVE LEARNED is that there are SHIT TONS of jobs for anyone with a degree in anything... and i want absolutely nothing to do with any of them

I KNEW THAT YEARS AGO, but i went along with it all anyway because i thought that was just me being naieve and idealistic and spoiled and selfish; i thought i'd grow out of it; i was afraid to trust myself; afraid to disappoint anyone; afraid to fail...and i really thought that i'd be able to grin and bear it; suck it up and play the game,keep a low profile ... not "rock the boat".....

jesus christ... what the fuck is my deal?!???


i mean.... it is true that i never wanted to "rock the boat" ... what i actually wanted,what i have always wanted, what i will always want, is to fucking blow the fucking boat into seven hundred billion pieces

which i would then collect and keep in a shoebox.

then if i ever felt like making a mosaic,i wouldn't have to go out and break shit




[although,come to think of it,that's pretty much the only cool thing about making a mosaic, ... well,unless it's, like, 1160, and yr somewhere in the byzantine empire]...man... when it came to mosaics, those dudes did not fuck around ]

ANTE MERIDIEM

the only morning better than a september morning in new england is any morning.. in london.


[having only ever been there in the summer, i have yet to experience a september morning in london....i suspect ,however, that once i do, i may never look back... therefore, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES am i allowed to go there (or anywhere else in the UK, for that matter) in the fall until i am absolutely, unequivocally, categorically certain that i mean it.





[i fucking mean it.]


there is an ice cream truck somewhere in the vicinity, and it's playing 'twinkle twinkle little star' the way that only an ice cream truck could

i've never heard an ice cream truck around here before

it's not even ice cream truck SEASON, for christ's sake


where the hell were you in the when we really needed you ..? .... the sweltering heat... the stifling humidity... those days when walking down the street felt more like walking through an enormous, sweaty ass crack.... why weren't you here then?? who the fuck wants to eat ice cream outside now?, everybody who's outside now is thinking, "i kind of wish i'd worn a jacket," not, "man, i could really go for some ice cream"

sometimes in life, ice cream truck, timing is everything.
and frankly.... your timing fucking sucks

GRANDPA SILVAN

"[...]

Searching for “completeness” in every written document, conversation, or lecture, he allowed sentences to extend beyond the patience of the average student and relished allusions that drew an audience far from his point. Often he said “There are not 12 people alive who really understand my work,” but did little to reduce their perplexity. Rather than allow those who truly celebrated his genius to gather and trade ideas, he fomented intense and unpleasant competition among his followers, making each more than a little suspicious that the others really didn’t understand Tomkins.

[...]"

..the mind reels....

http://www.tomkins.org/pressroom/history.aspx

I SUCK AT GOING PLACES

it's 2 hours and 20 minutes after i saidi was going to leave to go to school.

OMG.... i totally have,like,the best idea EVER!: why don't i write about it in my blog,instead of just getting off my ass and going?


...DONE!


see how easy that was? idea -- check. action -- check.


i could really learn a lot from myself.

MORRISSEY,AS USUAL, SAYS IT BETTER THAN I COULD EVER HOPE TO..

[taken from the question and answer section of julia riley's website. someday he'll talk to me from the stage instead of her.]

Q3: ARE YOU INTO DAYDREAMING?

Ann Poulter, London.
--
hello Ann

I think it's all I ever do. The alternative is making firm plans - which is something I find impossible. I've always seen life as a kamikaze course, and just dodging the bullets is success enough.

TAROT.COM DROPS THE ILL KNOWLEDGE [WTC JUMPERS STRAIGHT DROPPED]

"A strong tea takes a long time to steep."

BUREAUCRATIC DENOUEMENT

I'LL EXPLAIN LATER. IN THE MEANTIME, HERE IS A VISUAL DEPICTION OF HOW I FELT WHEN I GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH THE GUY WHO WAS PRETENDING TO BE IN THE STUDENT ACCOUNTS OFFICE ON CAMPUS, DESPITE THE FACT THAT HE WAS OBVIOUSLY L IN SOME GODDAMN CENTRALIZED CALL CENTER SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE OF SOME GODDAMN FLAT PIECE OF SHIT RED STATE AND TELLING ME I HAVE TO BRING MY MOTEHERFUCKING COCKSUCKING PRINTED RECEIPT TO THE MOTHERFUCKING COCKSUCKING SHITBAGS WHO WORK IN THE ON-CAMPUS OFFICE FOR THEIR "CO-OP" JOB AND FAIL TO DRAW ANY SORT OF PARALLEL BETWEEN THEM WORKING FOR A SCHOOL WHICH THEY ARE PAYING WHY ISN'T THERE SOMETHING BIGGER THAN CAPITAL LETTERS BECAUSE THEY DO NOT EVEN

BEGIN TO CONVEY THE EXTENT OF MY FUCKING ALL-SET-NESS

YOU PAY THEM!

THEY SAY, "HEY, THANKS FOR THE CHECK... WANT A JOB? ... GO SIT IN THIS OFFICE AND SIGN FORMS FOR 8 HOURS A DAY FOR ALL OF NEXT SEMESTER AND WE'LL GIVE YOU 8 CREDITS" IT'S LIKE A CONCENTRATION CAMP! IT'S SLAVERY! IT'S EXPLOITATION! IT'S WRONG!!!!!!!!W AAAAAAKEEEE UUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
AHGHGHHH WHY AM I STILL HERE? TOR..THRE...WHEREVER... WHAT'S MY DEAL!?!?! IT GOES AGAINST EVERYTHING I' BELIEVE IN!EVERYTHING I STAND FOR!! WHICH,ADMITTEDLY, ISN'T MUCH,BUT..IT'S ALL I GOT.... AND I AM NOTHING BUT A SELL-OUT AND A CAPITALIST WHORE

ANYWAY

here's my picture. i'm going outside, i think.

..... sign me up

[sometimes i read the job postings on london.craigslist.org instead of boston.craigslist.org. there's usually a lot of heavy,wistful sighing involved.]

Dear student

Are you interested in how the individual and society interact? Would you like to gain work experience over the summer that relates to your interests? Or do you know someone who would?

The Sussex Centre for the Individual and Society (SCIS) offers unpaid work experience/internships for this summer (from 3 weeks to 3 months).

SCIS is a new interdisciplinary research centre independent of the University of Sussex but run by Sussex postgraduate students in Social and Political Thought and situtated in an historic cottage right at the entrance of Sussex campus.

Have a look at some of our recent media coverage:
BBC: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/5295656.stm
Guardian: http://education.guardian.co.uk/higher/research/story/0,,1861193,00.html
Times Higher Education Supplement:
http://www.thes.co.uk/search/story.aspx?story_id=2031978

SCIS' International Advisory Board includes world-renowned academics such as Prof John Friedmann (Urban Planning, University of British Columbia, UCLA), Prof Ernesto Laclau (Political Theory, Essex, Northwestern, New School for Social Research), Prof Francis Schuessler Fiorenza (Political Theology, Harvard), and Prof Michael Watts (Geography and Development Studies, International Studies, Berkeley).

Prof Joseph V. Femia (Political Theory, Liverpool) and Prof Alexander García Düttmann (Philosophy and Visual Cultures, London) are Senior Research Associates of SCIS.

Here's what you could be doing:

- assistance with research projects
- assistance with fundraising
- event organisation (e.g. prepare graduate seminars in autumn)
- general office work
- gardening (we’ve got our own private garden for hot summer days and barbecues)
- and much more

Please have a look at our website, www.scis-calibrate.org, and get in contact if you'd like to get more information or meet us to discuss possibilities.

We look forward to hearing from you.

truth

...as outrageous as it may have been.. there was a lways a part of me that was holding out for you

.. and there always will be..like it or not....

but i guess it's gonna be awhile, now


[like it or not]

TRANSLATOR'S NOTE #33298458

sometimes "it's not a big deal," means, "it is kind of a big deal, and while i accept that i have absolutely no right to expect you to know that, particularly given that i am telling you exactly the opposite, i kind of wish you did, because it's hard enough for me to ask for help in the first place [no matter how badly i may need it]; begging is out of the question.".

STATUS

nothing new to report

cats should just use the toilet like any civilized creature


they certainly do act awfully 'high and mighty ' for something that shits in a box and then licks itself clean

ENNUI-KEND