TRANSLATOR'S NOTE #33298458

sometimes "it's not a big deal," means, "it is kind of a big deal, and while i accept that i have absolutely no right to expect you to know that, particularly given that i am telling you exactly the opposite, i kind of wish you did, because it's hard enough for me to ask for help in the first place [no matter how badly i may need it]; begging is out of the question.".