things to think about [good luck with this one]

today, my 'daily reflection' reading at tarot.com [yeah, whatever, shut up] told me ......

• that "[i am] dealing with a situation that may be permeated by a romantic, idealistic and psychically open quality," and that "such a state of affairs practically suspends the ordinary rules of reason [because] something in the air transcends logic as psychic, emotional and spiritual energies permeate the atmosphere."


• to "allow [myself] to daydream, for dreams give [me] creative ideas and solutions, producing wonderful results," to "imagine a truly positive outcome for this situation," and to "let down [my] guard and release [my] fears."


• to "let go of caring about what others think of [me]" because "[my] reputation is in no real danger.""


• that i am "no longer inhibited by [my] conditioning and the taboos of the past"


• that "it appears that [i] could really benefit from taking a retreat from modern life, high technology and the overdrive mentality". (it then goes on to inquire as to whether i might be able to "immerse [myself] in Nature, go to the beach, or rent a cabin in the mountains? "]

.... the problem is, i don't know what situation it's referring to; all i ever do is daydream and it evidently gets me absolutely nowhere; i don't really care what people think about me [aside from the few people whose opinions do matter, dearly ... maybe that's who it means?]; my reputation was shot to shit ages ago and i've long since given up hope of it ever recovering; i still feel as though i am very much inhibited by conditioning [not sure about the whole 'taboo' thing, because i was never really big on those to begin with]; and ..well, the last one i really can't disagree with, as i've been wanting to get away for awhile , but i'm not really sure of the best way to go about it..

anyway ... my whole thing about this shit -- tarot cards, horoscopes, i ching, anything of the spiritual/new age-y/paranormal variety that portends to provide people with some sort of advice or insight on themselves or their lives or their thursday or whatever -- is that all it is is whatever one makes of it ... some people buy into it lock, stock, and barrel ,and will live their entire lives at its behest... other people think it's utter nonsense; bullshit concocted by some pot smoking, quartz-wearing, incense-burning, acid-eating, tree-loving hippies entirely out of touch with reality, or by some sleazebag con-artists, looking to take advantage of those among us who are either too weak to think for themselves, too lazy to bother, or too gullible to see through it all ... i'm none of the above. i do wonder whether or not there's 'anything to it', but i stop far short of actually trying to discern any sort of evidence -- anecdotal, circumstantial, statistical, or otherwise -- that might actually indicate as much... to me, it isn't where it comes from or 'what it means' that's important; just what the person it's meant to pertain to gets out of it. maybe that's nothing, and that's fine .. nothing ventured, nothing gained. as for me, however,... i have a tendency to think things into the ground... and then, once they're in the ground, i create massive underground thought-mazes with them... and once i get sick of that, i think them a little bit deeper, until they penetrate the earth's core, where they get all fucked up by the magnetic fields and turn into hot, molten idea-spunk.... and then, as a result of the tremendous heat, they eventually become vaporized, and the vapors [being comprised of teensy, miniscule, subatomic-sized particles] ESCAPE from the core,radiating out from the centre until they mix with the groundwater, where the itty-bitty particles all come together again to reassemble themselves into normal-sized thoughts, which,as part of the earth's water cycle, eventually rain down on me... or flow out of my tap and into the brita dispenser,or an ice cube tray, or the bath, or shower.....^1 ANYWAY, the point is, i think too much.... and i am always grateful for any additional insight or alternate perspectives, regardless of whether they're coming from my guardian angel/spirit guide/god (or God, or g-d, or allah, or buddha, or jah, or yaweh, whatever); my best friend; my ten-year-old brother; a republican; my cat; the homeless dude on the corner; tom cruise; albert einstein; a computer program; whatever. doesn't matter. all equally valid. well ... all equally potentially valid..

i mean... i still have to think about it.

right.

yeah.

sooo.. this has been fascinating and all, but.. i have to go
daydream, not give a fuck what anybody thinks of me, undo 24 years of conditioning, abandon my earlier taboos [again.. what taboos? i worry that to abandon the few i do have would leave me in dangerous territory], and retreat from the overdrive mentality.

[... is it really any wonder why i prefer tarot.com to therapy???]

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1. don't worry. i'm making a flowchart.