eight days ...

... it's really happening.


i kind of can't believe it. every day, it hits me a little bit more. i'm ready for it ... i'm nervous and scared and excited and overwhelmed, but i'm ready. it needs to happen.. it's meant to happen. the way everything fell (and continues to fall) into place is ... i don't know what it is, exactly ... but it's definitely not just coincidence. i don't expect it to be easy, but i know it's going to be significant, and on so many levels....

there's so much shit in my head right now.. words, ideas, songs.. random pieces of useless information [i collect them, because maybe they won't be useless forever.. or to someone else.. you never know].. anecdotes and pictures.. memories.. they all keep interrupting each other. i can't keep up... and i can't believe it's turning into daytime again.

i should have been in bed at least twelve hours ago. tonight was amazing, but the whole time i was out, all i could think about was how much i miss my bed, and how amazing it would be to crawl into it and stay there until tuesday or wednesday of next week.. and now i'm home, and somehow it's already sunday morning, and i'm sitting here in my pajamas and smoking a joint and it's totally silent.. no tv, no music, no cat fights.. and for the first time in months, i am starting to remember how nice it can be to be by myself... and i am starting to wonder why i ever forgot in the first place.

it's time for a new song.