yay!!! =D

it's sunday morning and i'm listening to ted leo and it's springtime and the sun is coming up, and for the first time in what feels like a long time, i am so, so happy ... and for the first time in what i know is a long time, i'm not ruining it by worrying about whether or not it's going to last... or trying to figure out what i can do to make sure it does... or making mental lists of all the different things i could do to potentially fuck it all up. i'm just accepting it and enjoying it, because i think i deserve it, even if only for a little while. even on my worst, lowest days, i know i'm still more fortunate than a lot of people are on their best, and i try really hard not to ever lose sight of that fact. it's important to keep shit in perspective. i am so thankful for so many things, and so many people, and i sometimes feel like i don't acknowledge that fact nearly as much as i should. i'm trying to be better about that.

i truly had every intention of going to bed hours ago, but just as i was getting ready to head downstairs, the latest addition to my buddy list [who shall remain nameless] signed on to aim. we started talking, and before i knew it, nearly four hours had passed, and we still hadn't run out of things to say to each other. now it's nearly quarter to nine in the morning, and it's looking like for the first time in my life, i might actually get to my little brother's hockey game on time, albeit slightly exhausted.

no matter.

i'll sleep when i'm dead.

more later, if the mood strikes me.

happy sunday!