what i was afraid of

i think i got spoiled, having you all to myself.. even if only for a week and a half. last time this happened, i came home and tried to pretend you didn't exist, with marginal success... but i never stopped wishing it could have just stayed the way it was. needless to say, it couldn't... i got it back for a little while, though, this summer..it was different; we're different.. but it was the same, too... better in some ways, worse in others, but at the end of it all, i was left wandering around heathrow airport alone, feeling completely lost (despite the fact that i knew exactly where i was going), and lamenting the fact that the one thing that made everything about living in london feel utterly complete was on its way back to massachusetts.. i knew i would be following shortly thereafter, but i knew it wouldn't be the same.. what i didn't know, however, was just how different it would be.

i miss you.